Let's be honest: the whole "dating roster" thing was already chaotic enough without adding bench players to the mix. But here we are, and honestly? We're kind of obsessed with the mess. The piece redefines what it means to have a "roster" in a way that feels less like a power move and more like a coping mechanism dressed in couture. And we're not mad at it. We're actually relieved someone finally said it: if you're keeping someone on the bench, they're not part of the game. They're just waiting for a play that's never going to happen.
This isn't about shaming anyone's lineup. It's about the quiet chaos of treating people like backup options while calling it confidence. We've seen this energy before, like in The Real Winners of the VS Show? The Guys Holding the Clutch, where the spotlight was on the dudes literally holding the train while the models walked. That's a perfect metaphor for the bench situation: you're holding someone's metaphorical train, waiting for your moment, but the walk is already over. And then there's Couture Confidence: Dating Advice That's Fabulous, But Maybe Flawed, which leans into the "if he wanted to, he would" mantra. That advice is great on paper, but it falls apart when you realize some people just like having options, not because they're playing chess, but because they're scared of being alone. The roster isn't strategy. It's a safety net made of recycled excuses.
Keeping people on the bench isn't confidence. It's clutter. It's the fashion equivalent of buying a designer gown and then leaving the tags on it, just in case you need to return it. You're not curating a collection. You're hoarding attention. And the person you're stringing along? They're not a "maybe." They're a "not right now" that you're too scared to say out loud. That's not glamorous. That's not empowered. That's just messy, and not the fun, red-carpet-walk-with-a-spilled-drink kind of messy.
What does this mean for you? It means if you're the one doing the benching, take a hard look at your lineup. Are you actually interested, or just collecting validation like free samples at a beauty counter? And if you're the one on the bench, stop waiting for your number to be called. You're not a backup plan. You're the whole runway. The concrete detail to watch? The next time someone says "I'm just keeping my options open," count how many of those options actually know they're in a casting call. Because the moment you realize you're not even in the top three, you can finally stop auditioning for a role you never wanted. That's the real glow-up.