Alissa DeRogatis wants us to ditch the algorithm and find love in the cereal aisle. Her new book, *How to Find Love in the Cereal Aisle*, is a call for unoptimized dating in a world that wants us swiping, filtering, and curating our romantic lives into a sterile, perfectly lit grid. Honestly? It's the most couture thing I've heard in ages. We've been so obsessed with optimizing everything, our careers, our skincare routines, our red carpet poses, that we forgot love is supposed to be a little chaotic. A little messy. A little like tripping over a stray bag of chips while reaching for the good pasta. We've written plenty about the glamour of curated romance, from Decoding Ali Hazelwood: A Glamorous Guide to Her Rom-Com Universe to our take on Couture Confidence: Dating Advice That's Fabulous, But Maybe Flawed. But DeRogatis is flipping the script. She's saying the algorithm isn't your fairy godmother, it's the bouncer at a club you didn't even want to get into.
The algorithm promised us efficiency. It promised we could filter out the weirdos, the bad texters, the people who wear socks with sandals. But in doing so, it also filtered out the spontaneity. It filtered out the guy who laughs too loud or the girl who talks with her hands. That's the chaos DeRogatis wants us to embrace. She's not saying delete your apps and move to a monastery. She's saying put the phone down long enough to let reality interrupt your perfectly optimized feed. That's the kind of confidence that feels both relatable and empowered. It's the same energy as walking a red carpet in a designer gown with a Target snack in your bag, you know the glamour, but you also know the real.
What does this mean for you, practically? Stop treating your dating life like a mood board. Stop swiping left on someone because their profile photo has bad lighting. The most interesting people rarely photograph well. DeRogatis is challenging us to embrace the unpolished moments, the ones that don't make it onto an Instagram story. If I were a reader asking for advice, I'd say this: take her cue. Go to the grocery store without a list. Go to a coffee shop without checking who's there on Hinge. Let the universe have a little say in your love life. It's scary. It's glamorous. It's couture chaos.
The concrete point to watch? Whether this book actually changes behavior or just gives us a new excuse to romanticize the mundane. Because let's be real, we've all seen the Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas drama unfold in real time, and we know that even the most curated love stories have plot twists. DeRogatis is betting that the unscripted version is worth the risk. I'm betting she's right. Now go buy some cereal.